Back in 2018, I started a new position within my current organization. However, I moved from a suburban planned mall/corporate/living area into Downtown Columbus, into one of the skyscrapers, Huntington Tower. It wasn’t a big deal overall but there were a few big changes to my day to day of the last 5 years of my corporate life. To start, my manager was located in a different City, I would no longer have free parking and no more onsite cafeteria. Which isn’t exactly great, but still a benefit in my opinion. However, the change of scenery was very exciting!

Less than 30-days into my new position, nearly everyone was out of town for an off-site an meeting that didn’t apply to me, and I had some extra time between meetings, so I decided to make a quick run to Starbucks. Since there isn’t one in Huntington Tower, I wanted to make the most of my time and concluded an electric scooter was my best means of speedy transportation.

As I am approaching the corner of Third St and Gay St at 15mph, it occurs to me I have overestimated my scooter driving abilities.  My brain tells me I cannot make the turn without crashing. I quickly determine that my best course of action is the release the acceleration, jump off the side of the scooter and just run along the side to slow down, like when I was a kid on my bike.

Just a few things wrong with that idea. I’m not a kid. I didn’t go 15mph when I was 10. You can imagine what happened. The scooter slams into the building and then back into me. I slam into the ground. In case you haven’t alreadly figured this out, I’m dressed for work. Hair done, dress and ankle boots. My dress flies over my freaking head and everyone sees my underwear, Molly Shannon SNL style. I instantly see stars like in the cartoons. Somehow I know to pull my skirt down.

Mother trucking scooter. This is obviously not MY fault. I lay there unable to physically stand, on the dirty, filthy downtown ground. Stars still swirling. I bring myself to stand within a minute or two. Pick up the scooter, log out because the stupid thing charges by the minute and walk into Starbucks. I came all that way. I’m getting my coffee damn it.

Their mobile app is broken so there is basically 900 people in line. I stand for about 12 seconds and realize I’m going to throw up every where. I sit down and look around desperately for water. Then out of nowhere I realize that I need to immediately get back to my desk before the adrenaline that’s holding me up wears off. I start to panic.

I walk the estimated 1/3 miles. Stars still swirling, both legs bleeding, muttering to myself in immense pain. I walk back into the building and head into Einstein’s Coffee located within the building and order my coffee. I hold up my phone to use Android pay, which they don’t accept. I look at the ground in defeat. I still have no coffee. I go back to my desk in devastation on the verge of tears. The only thing in the first aid kit is some Band-Aids barely big enough for a paper cut. My coworker and I decide hand sanitizer is my only choice to clean it up. It feels like the blood of Satan.

I sit there for several minutes before I burst into tears. I want my mom. I want my husband. I want to go home. Which brings us to the start of the story. Since it costs money to park downtown, and I don’t pay to go to work, I have previously taken advantage of the free bus pass program offered to employees working in the downtown area. While it took some getting used, I generally liked riding the bus. Each day I drop to a stop and ride within a mile from my house and the bus dropped me off immediately in front of my building.

Once I got my routine down, it was just like anything else and became part of my everyday life. The days that sucked the most we when it was so cold I thought my fingers would fall off, or when the rain was pouring down so fast and so it was impossible to escape. Then of course, there was always the unique individuals that appear on the bus. Today, I was for sure going to be “one of those people” that others talk about.

I somehow manage to get myself together, down through the building, across the street, and onto to COTA bus for the 10 minute ride back to the park and ride.  Then I have the giant task of stupidly taking myself to the Same Day Center (basically urgent care run by my doctor’s office) instead of just going to the ER.

The Same Day Center was worthless, provided me with nothing, and I mean nothing, except to tell me to see an Orthopedic Surgeon as soon as possible, tells me to take Tylenol, and recommends I   don’t go to sleep in the near because I “could” have a concussion from where that stupid thing smashed into my forehead, leaving a mark for what would end up being weeks.

Somehow I was lucky enough to get into an orthopedic emergency center the following morning who immediately did an x-ray. I had broken my patella, better known as your kneecap. The doctor said it would be like if you took a plate, a hammer and just tapped it in the middle. And it broke into multiple pieces.

I was immediately fitted with a nifty leg brace that ran from hip to my ankle and matching crutches. After 6 weeks, I was upgraded to a brace that adjusted every two weeks to allow gradual movement, which lasted 8 weeks.

Not only did my boss make a rule that one one is allowed to ride electric scooters during working hours, but willingly never rode an electric scooter again.

I also, never got my coffee

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